Haven't updated in about a week...

because I've been traveling . . . through time. However my flux capacitor looks to be damaged as I've slungshot into May, 2009. The good news is I have eaten food since being away so I am not starved for nutrients, nourishment, or Nabisco Shredded Wheat (the worst cereal in history: can it even be called a cereal?).

First thing's first. One of my favorite lunch trucks in midtown is Papa Perrone's. He has these great Italian rice balls for about $5 that really stuff you up. They contain rice, ground beef, peas, and cheese. For an extra buck you can get parm over it. "Parm", for the culinary illiterate is "parmigiana sauce". However the last time I went to the truck I bypassed the rice ball in lieu of a fat sandwich: a chicken cutlet, mozzarella sticks, french fries, and parm on garlic bread. I feel like I'm missing an ingredient here . . . oh yea, a shitload of cholestrol. I'll leave this monstrosity to your imagination, along with these couple pictures. I only hate half this thing, as it began to come out the other end; my body rejected the fried gloriousness of this sandwich, and I am actually glad it did. Otherwise, I would not be here writing this because eating the entire thing would have induced a heart attack.

One of my favorite meals is a simple recipe. It's actually more of a few things you throw in together. All you have to do is make white rice, a couple over-medium/over-easy/over-hard/poached/scrambled (whatever style you like) eggs, and, the greatest thing ever, bacon. Personally, I enjoy over-easy or over-medium eggs so that the runny yolk dribbles over the white rice and makes it yellow rice. It's the opposite of what happens to a chicken. Then top it off with a lot of bacon. Voila! A great meal that will cost you no more than $6 for 4-5 servings. Now those are the components for a great dinner party!



I ate some other great things in my time travels, but I am now lazy. Maybe I'll write again in a month. Happy Memorial Day!

If you die from eating any of these...

at least you die happy and full!

Shout to my homey Liesl for finding these websites dedicated to true gems of culinary perfection.


The first two images are from
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

Blueberry Waffle Breakfast Sandwich. Jesus Christ! One bite of this would literally send you to heaven (unless you're Buddhist, in which case, it would send you back to Earth.)












This is called the Porkgasm; I think just just bacon'd all over my pants.













This wonderful concoction is from http://cooktobang.com/

It's called Frisky Fried Rice, and I would love for my girlfriend to cook this for me. So please...have it ready by the time I get off work.

In the words of All-4-One and John Michael Montgomery...

I swear! I will update this blog more as soon as I get more time. March is an extremely busy month; we've got guests and people visiting from California and Texas, plus I'm headed to Austin next week for SXSW. Anyways, here's something to tide you over and give you your fix of this blog. It may not satiate you, but it should do for now. Things to look for in future posts: alligator meat, dual core Skittles, and plantain chips.

The following pictures are from a cake dedicated to Castlevania, the game. The video game. The Nintendo game. The 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System. The greatest console in history, and if you want to debate that, then I'll just pretend I'm deaf and cover my ears.

Such an eventful Saturday...

Yesterday I went to the New York Comic-Con, not as a 'regular' person, but as a professional representative of my company. However I went exclusively to buy some shit and meet my two favorite writers right now in ANY medium (that includes movie writers, song writers, book writers, rough riders, etc.): Jason Aaron, who writes this great comic called 'Scalped', and Brian Wood, the writer of 'DMZ' and 'Demo'. Fellow New Yorkers, you should definitely check out 'DMZ' because it's about the United States being in a civil war, and Manhattan is the de-militarized zone. It's basically what some Iraqi or Afghan cities are like. The book shows what it would be like if we were in a war zone.

Ok...so let's get to the goods. I arrived at Comic-Con incredibly early for a Saturday: a brisk 35 degree New York day, 8:30am. I had purposely not eaten anything since I planned on leaving a little early to get home and eat a late lunch. Fine, I did have some plantain chips because you absolutely should not neglect your stomach. Do you want it to get so hungry that you stop being hungry? No way!!!!

I perspired with anticipation thinking about what waited to get chomped up at home. Now, this little guy needs no introduction. It's a classic. It's small, but packs a flavorful punch. It's....


You can't see, but it reads, in a yellow box to inform you, that it contains 7 ESSENTIAL vitamins and minerals. Essential. Meaning, you need them to survive. So not only does a Hot Pocket offer you different varieties, crusts, and delectability, but it can help save your life. If that's not a reason to eat these things, you must not be smoking what I'm smoking. For you veggies out there, they do offer a cheddar and brocoli kind in a croissant crust. You can microwave them, but for optimal taste, I suggest a toaster or regular oven. When cooked in an oven, the crust comes out just perfect - crunchy exterior and a nice, even dough.

Although 2 come in a package, I wanted variety in my meal, so I only heated up one of them. That's where the chicken breast tenders came in. And I had some beef flavored Ramen also. These complement the main dish very well. It's nice to have a soup and a side with lunch. For the chicken, I had BBQ sauce. Please note, that when referring to sauce it should be 'BBQ' and not 'barbecue'. 'Barbecue' is what you do to ribs before and after rubbing and basting it with 'BBQ' sauce.


On the outside, a Hot Pocket is order. It is clean, with a slightly buttered sheen. The corners are sharp. Its body is defined. But a few bites into it, the chaos reveals itself. The reason is to provide a flavor meshed with cheese and pepperoni. It wants you to not worry about destorying the picture-perfect crust in order for you to fully enjoy the aroma and taste awaiting you inside.


Is there a Hall of Fame for food? If so, I would like to nominate Hot Pockets, and it better get in on the first ballot.

Saving $10/day on lunch to spend on comic books and my electric bill....

I started this blog to express my affinity for food that isn't completely healthy for you, but delicious in every sense. However, I am broke and there are rumblings of layoffs at my workplace so I have brought in my lunch every day this week. Not much variety, save for a few (3 to be exact) ribs I had on Monday. The rest of the week has, so far, been Ritz Crackers, a turkey sandwich, and a cup o' noodles (thanks Maruchin for providing instant satisfaction the past 20 years).

It's quite simple, really, to save yourself a few dollars a day by packing your lunch. I know everyone preaches it, but it is so true.

Take these Ritz crackers for example.


A single Ritz cracker has enough salt and butter to make you full for about 3 minutes (make sure you have water to counter that sodium). Now, paired with peanut butter, it makes for one of the best snacks you can possibly eat. First off, it's not just a piece of fruit.....it's a cracker! and peanut butter! No seeds, peels, skins, cores, or rinds. Great snack and an even better appetizer.


Instant Lunch, Cup of Noodles...whatever....they're all the same and they taste the same: magnificent. Nothing makes you feel more like a down-to-earth person than eating a cup o' noodles in plane view. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. There are vegetables, noddles, and meat flavoring powder. You eat it with a fork, and you drink the broth straight up because (genius!) it's in a cup. I love it.

Throw in a turkey sandwich you can make at home, and you've got yourself one appetizing meal.

And for some vitamins, I've been drinking this stuff called Starbien my girlfriend's mom sends us. She sends us a box full of these every now and then, and I am eternally grateful because this, my friends, is where I receive my vitamins and minerals. I'm also not the kind of guy who can just drink water with a meal. A drink needs to have flavor. I would even drink one of those nasty ass, flavored sparkling mineral water things instead of regular water.

This:

becomes this:

Addendum to first post...

THIS JUST IN!!! Thanks to my good friend, Liz (goldenchildnyc.blogspot.com) for unearthing this magnificent gem....






http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/28/dining/28bacon.html?_r=1&no_interstitial

First thing's first...bacon! In it's greasiest glory.

I know most people out there enjoy bacon. I love it, and I'm sure you do too. If I were to ever become a vegetarian, I would not give up bacon. Steak? Gone. Fried chicken? Gone. Shrimp alfredo? Gone. Bacon? I don't think so. One of the best burgers I ever ate was the Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger from Jack-In-The-Box. It's rather unfortunate New York doesn't have any Jack's lying around because they'd make a killing in this market. 99 cents for 2 tacos? Fuck yea!

Anyways, the Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger is every heart-attack inspiring person's dream - 8 slices of bacon, 2 hopefully-all-beef patties, 3 slices of cheese, and some secret sauce that rivals the Big Mac's thousand-island concoction. Just try to find another burger as greasy and delicious. I dare you!

O! I just answered my own call....because Wendy's has the Baconator.....thank you Wendy's!